Joe's Theories
by Cloud Arcanine
Summary: My friend Joe has his own Weird outlook on Naruto. These are things he thinks should happen. They are weird, and all the ideas belong to Joe.
1. Chapter 1

**Joe's Theories**

**Okay, my friend Joe has his own outlook on Naruto and what not. He always makes up funny/stupid things about stuff that happens when he sees episodes. We talk on the phone all through them, like our own commentary. Here are his theories on things. I warn you, he can have a weird mind. In fact, he does. He owns all these. I'm just posting them.**

* * *

**  
What happened After Gaara's and Lee's battle? **

Lee was taken out of the chunin exam room very quickly. After his fight with Gaara, he needed to be rushed to the emergency room (ER) very quickly. Everyone was silent for 5 minuets until Kakashi spoke. "Hey." He began. "Now that he's gone do you wanna make fun of him?"

"Okay!" Naruto said. "Did you see the size of his eyebrows?!"

"I know! It scares me to look at them! I mean, I thought they were gonna eat me or somethin'!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"They're so big our Byakugan can't even see through them!" Hinata and Neji said in unison.

"I," Gaara began. "Never wanted to become a chunin anyway. I was going to let him win. But he stole my eyebrows. I want my eyebrows." Gaara said.

"Because his eyebrows are gone, he keeps stealing my eyeliner!" Temari said. "Make it stop!"

"I was going tp shave mine soon." Guy said.

"I bet you weren't." Kakashi said to guy.

"Yeah I was!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Whatever. The point is that your stupid student lost. I'm hungry." Kakashi said.

**I know, really weird. I post more after I speak to Joe.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 2  
**

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**Messin' With Sakura**

Sakura sat upstairs in her room staring at Sasuke's picture after training. She sighed. "Oh Sasuke, I really miss you. Even though I only saw you 5 minuets ago. "I really wish you'd come here. Just to say hi."

"Hey Sakura!" Sakura heard her mom calling. "Sasuke's here! Sakura jumped up.

"Sasuke!" She ran down the stairs. All the while screaming; "Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke!" Very fast. "Where's Sasuke?!" She screamed when she finally got to the bottom of the stairs, foaming at the mouth.

"Oh sorry, it was just a squirrel." Her mom said.

"Oh... okay then!" She said, and went upstairs. When she went upstairs, her mother and father laughed.

"Hey! D'you wanna do it again?!" Her father asked.

"Yeah!" Her mom said, and called upstairs. "Sakura! It's really Sasuke this time!" She heard Sakura running down the stairs saying;

"Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke!" Really fast. Again.

"Oh! Silly me! It was thats squirrel again." Her mom said. Sakura dropped to her knees.

"Darn you squirrels! Darn you!"

**Shino's Secret life**

We all know about Shino Aburame. The mysterious bug genin. But do we know who he really is? Late at night, he sneaks out of his house and walks into the forest. He slowly transforms into a cockroach. He lives with his wife and kids under a log. Feeding on villagers as they pass by. And every night, he is chased by villagers with torches and pitch forks. And that is Shino's life.

**The Real Sasuke**

"Oh my God it's Sasuke!" Many fangirls screamed as they chased Sasuke. He ran into his house and locked the door.

"Ugh, finally." He said. He then placed a pair of thick rimmed glasses on his face. He put his retainer back in. "Okay then Mage-guy3441! I'll show you who is the better wizard!" He said as he walked over to his computer and placed the disk for Dungeons and Dragons in.

NEXT TIME:

Why Shikamaru wears earings!

A new plan for Orochimaru!

Guy drowns Kakashi?!


	3. Chapter 3

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

**Why Shikamaru wears earings.**

Shikamaru stood at his mirror staring at himself. "Heh heh heh... Now who's sexy again? Oh that's right! You are!" He exclaimed as he winked at himself. "Oh and look who came to visit! Mr. Lipstick!" Shikamaru said as he brought the lipstick closer and closer to his face.

"Shikamaru!" He heard. He turned to see his dad. "Shikamaru! Put the lipstick down!"

"No! I want to feel pretty!" He cried to his father.

"But you're a boy! You're not _supposed_ to be pretty!" His dad said.

"Then why didn't you ask Mr.Stork to make me a girl!" Shikamaru said, crying. His dad sighed.

"Shikamaru, I've been lying to you. We didn't get you from a stork." His dad began.

"Then how did you get me?!" He demanded of the older Nara male.

"You were adopted."

**Guy Drowns Kakashi?!**

Kakashi fell back from his fight with Itachi. Itachi was about to finish him, when Guy came in. "Dynamic entry!" Guy yelled as he came in.

"Guy!" Kakashi exclaimed. He started to sink into the water. As he sank, he tried to say "Don't look at his eyes!" but he was muffled by the water.

"What?!" Guy said. He reached his hand into the water and pulled him out "What did you say?" He asked.

"Don't look at his eyes!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"Oh...okay then!" Guy exclaimed, and put Kakashi back in the water. "Oh wait..." He said after about 10 seconds. He pulled Kakashi out again. "Did you want to go back under?" He asked.

"No I didn't want-" Kakashi was cut off by Guy forcing him back down.

"Sorry gotta go!" Guy said.

**Orochimaru's New plan**

Orochimaru brought his injured arm up to his mouth. He bit his finger, Tsunade shivered when she saw the blood. _"She's a hemophobic!" _Kabuto thought.

"I have a new idea!" Orochimaru exclaimed. "Kabuto! Rip off your arm!" Kabuto did as he was told. Tsunade fainted. "Haha!" Orochimaru said. "I win! Let's go Kabuto!" Orochimaru left.

"Right behind you!" He said. "I'm just dying!

NEXT TIME:

How Kakashi's hair is so fluffy!

To the Lee-mobile!

More Tsunade/Orochimaru Outakes

How Orochimaru washes his hair!


	4. Chapter 4

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 4**

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**How Kakashi's hair is so fluffy!**

"Why is Kakashi-sensei always so late?" Naruto asked his team mates.

"I dunno let's go see." Sakura said. She, Naruto and Sasuke walked to Kakashi's.

"Kakashi-sensei what're you do-" Naruto began. They watched Kakashi roll around on the ground, laughing like an idiot. They stared.

"Don't worry." Pakkun s

aid. "This is normal for him." Hes sighed. "We go through this every morning and he refuses to brush his hair."

** To the Lee-mobile!**

Feathers floated down on the crowd in the chunin exam.Everyone fell asleep, Except one student. That one student is Rock Lee. "What?! Why is everyone asleep? I must discover the cause!" Using his crutches as wings, he flew to the academy. He hobbled in and past Iruka.

"Lee?! What are you doing here?" Iruka asked. surprised.

"To the Lee-mobile!" He shouted simply. He jumped into the closet. "Owwww..." When he emerged, he was wearing a suit like Batman's. "Now to the Lee-mobile!" he shouted, and hobbled out of the room. By the time Lee was in the Lee-mobile and driving towards Shukaku, Naruto was punching Gaara. "I must help Naruto!" He said. He flew out of the Lee-mobile(literally) and tried to attack Shuaku. It turned around and hit Lee with it's tail. He fell to the ground. "Why...me..?"

**Another Outtake with Orochimaru and Tsunade**

"Lady Tsunade! We can take them!" Shizune said to Tsunade. "Lady Tsunade?" She turned and saw Tsunade chasing a mobile slot machine/ "Lady Tsunade!"

**Yet another Outtake with Orochimaru and Tsunade**

****"I can bring your brother and beloved back to life!" Orochimaru said.

"No you can't! Then you'll lose your right arm and left leg, Kabuto will end up in a metal body, and then you'll go out to look for the Philosopher's stone! It's be Fullmetal Snake-man!"

**How Orochimaru Washes his hair**

"Kabuto! Soap!" Kabuto rubbed soap into Orochimaru's hair. He was about to scrub his head when Orochimaru said. "No! I want to do this myself!" He stood there silently for a time, until he started to rub his head on the wall. "Ha! That'll teach them to call me handicapped!"

NEXT TIME:

Too Beautiful!

MORE AFTER I TALK WITH JOE!


	5. Chapter 5

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 5**

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**Too beautiful!**

Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai stood across from Itachi on the water. Itachi began to open his eyes, and Kakashi realized what was happening. Tsukuyomi. "Don't look at his eyes" Kakashi yelled.

"Why Kakashi?!" Asuma asked. "Is it some kind of jutsu?!"

"No!... They're just so beautiful!" Kakashi said.

Kurenai, Asuma, Itachi, Kisame: (anime fall)

**Sorry that one was so short, I haven't spoken to Joe since Friday. But I'm going to see him tomorrow so I'll update when I get home!**

**Cloud Arcanine/Little Washu **


	6. Chapter 6

**A (Quick) Author Note:**

**I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a few days. I haven't been able to contact Joe. But I promise that I'll update as soon as he comes up with another clever story/idea. I'll most likely talk to him tomorrow, if not over the weekend.. If not, then expect something new almost every time a new episode of Naruto is on, because that's where he gets most of his ideas. Just keep checking! And Joe and I thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 7 (actually this would sorta be 6 but numerically it's 7. I think.)**

**These are from the episode: "Breakdown! The deal is off" (Which I first mistook for Break-_dance_: The deal is off!) **

* * *

**Tsunade, Tsunade.**

Orochimaru sneered at Tsunade. "Tsunade, Tsunade." He said, shaking his head.

"Orochimaru I-"

"Tsunade, Tsunade, Tsunade." He continued shaking his head.

"Orochimaru-"

"Tsunade, Tsunade, Tsunade, Tsunade."

"Will you shut up?!"

**Oh no! I'm DEAD!**

Naruto looked down at what he was stepping on. Tsunade's Jacket. "Oh no!" Shizune yelled, running over to the jacket. "Nooooo! She's evaporated!!! Lady Tsunadeeeeee!" She cried. Tsunade walked out of the bathroom over to Shizune.

"What are doing Shizune?" She asked.

"Go away Lady Tsunade! I'm busy crying because you're gone forever and I'll never see you again because you're dead!"

"Noooo! I'm dead! Nooooo!" She yelled.

"She's gone! I'll never see her agai-...wait a second." Shizune said. She looked at Tsunade. "You're not-"

"I'm dead! Nooooo! It's the end for me!" Tsunade cried.

**Poor Kabuto (not)**

**This was a result of me commenting that I wanted Kabuto to be run over by a landing plane.**

Kabuto was currently blabbering about something to Tsunade as he and her faced off in fields. Then, a large plane ran over Kabuto. The pilot jumped out. "Ah! A perfectly safe landing! And no one was hurt!"

**This is now the result of my new favorite quote. Made by me. "Everytime Kabuto opens his mouth, someone is hit by a landing plane.**

**Twitch.**

Kabuto lay on the ground after Tsunade's attack. Twitching. Twitch. Twitch twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

**Grape flavored **

Orochimaru unwrapped his arm. "Heh heh heh...now time to put our plan into- Oh good lord!" He screamed as Naruto bit his arm. "What are you doing?! That's my arm!"

"But it tastes like grape!"

* * *

**And now, a few quotes from Joe as he watched Naruto (any episode) **

The 3rd Hokage slammed his hand into the ground, mud splashed down the roof of the look-out tower.  
**Joe:** Chocolate!!!

Orochimaru held up two kunai, each had a letter bomb attached.  
**Joe:** So Michael Jackson is giving out free applications to south beach diet? Or are those tickets to Neverland?

The curse mark on Sasuke's neck grew stronger, now giving him a purple aura.**  
Joe: **He is shining, shining with purple chocolaty goodness.

* * *

**And now, a quote from Joe as he was watching Transformers. **

**Joe**: That robot's the biggest! No no! That robot's the biggest! No wait! _That_ one is! But no is bigger than _that_ one! No _that_ one!

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**Sorry that that's so short. But don't complain to me, complain to Joe :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Joe's theories **

**Chapter 8 (It's 8 right?)**

**These are only a few, he's coming over to my house tomorrow, so I'll probably post more then. Oh, and there's a Naruto Marathon where I am on Saturday, so expect more Joe-ness!**

* * *

**Sea-gulls! **

**This is sorta hard to explain, so I will. We were looking at an(above) view of the land of waves, and I pointed out the trees. He said "Those are trees?!" and I said "Well what did you think they were? Nests?"**

"The real reason I need you ninja to protect me," Tazuna began. "Is because there are giant sea-gull nests in our town. They're attacking our fast-food places and stealing our french fries! Think of the dogs! Think of the school children!!!" He broke down crying.

**And now, another quote from Joe. **

Kakashi screamed as he was stabbed reapetedly by Itachi.  
**Joe**: Hahaha! This is my new FAVORITE part of the series!  
**Cloud Arcanine**: You're just doing that because of my fangirlism aren't you?  
**Joe**: Yeah, basically.**  
**

**Sorry that was so short. I promise to up-date ASAP!**


	9. Chapter 9

Ah! It's been soooo long sine I updated! But Joe's here now!

* * *

**Kisame's Friends!**

Itachi and Kisame stood on the hill, after fighting Jiraiya. "I have to rest before another attack." Itachi said. "I used my Sharingan too much." So Itachi and Kisame split to go to their seperate houses.

**First we'll start with Kisame.**

"Finally a time to visit my friends. I haven't seen them in a long time, I bet they miss me." Kisame said. His house was on the outskirts on the visit hidden in the mist. As Kisame walked into his house, he realized that he forgot his sign. He quickly grabbed his sign and placed it outside. It read:

**Kisame Hoshigoki does NOT live here!**

Kisame walked over to his fish bowl in the corner. It was decorated with a nice castle, and many little fishies. Kisame said, "Hi friends! Did you miss me?" Before even taking a breath, Kisame jumped in the fish bowl. For some reason beyond our knowledge, Kisame actually shrank, and splashed in the bowl. At the bottom of the bowl, everything seemed different. The fish had legs and walked around. Like Kisame. Unsuprised at all, Kisame proudly walked to the castle. Inside was his b!ch, Ursulla. The octopus lady. "Hello my wife with absolutly no sex appeal." Kisame said to her.

"Oh, shut up and kiss me you sexy fish you." Ursulla said to him. Kisame turned to a funny looking lad in the corner.

"Squire, I want no disturbences for the rest of the evening." Kisame said to the boy.

"Yes sir, oh king of the fish bowl." The boy said to Kisame. And the rest of the night, the rest of the castle heard disgusting noises coming from Kisame's room.

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**Vamp90210 says review or the invisible man will come and kill you in your sleep.**

**Next time, Itachi. As soon as Joe thinks of it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Joe's Theories**

**Loved By All(Well, at least we hope so!)**

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**A/N: These are a few things Joe came up with while watching the movie. Next chapter, ALL OF JOE'S MOVIE BLOOPERS.(With these included)  
**

** Oops.**

"And now," Doto began. "I will take the princess and the treasure!" Doto pulled off his jacket, to reveal his footy-pajamas. "Damn... forgot the armor this morning."

**No wait that's mine! **

Kakashi threw the kunai and shuriken pouch at Naruto. "Here, use these." He said. Naruto opened it up and gasped.

"Sensei! I can read Ich Icha?!" He said happily.

"No! That's mine!" Kakashi said and defensively grabbed it away.

* * *

**A/N: Now I apologize for this, but Joe said we'll just put the rest in another chapter. But to end this, I'll put a few of mine in . Cloud Arcanine theories:**

**1.) Doto stole the hex crystal. "And now, I shall reveal the treasure!" He tried to put the hex crystal in the slot, but it was too big. "Damn it! I told them to measure it before they made it! It's over. It's ALL OVER." He said. **

**2.) Doto grabbed the princess and shot a cord up to the ceiling, lifting himself into the air. Sakura, Kakashi and Naruto gasped. "He can fly!" Naruto yelled.**

**"He can fly?!" Sakura asked**

**"He can fly!" Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi yelled.**

**"He can fly, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly, he can fllyyyy!" They all sang.**

**3.) The land of snow slowly began to become the land of spring as Doto used the hex crystal. "It's almost magical!" Sakura said. Naruto and Kakashi took this as their cue and sang:**

**"Goooood morning! Magic! Magic! Magical Land! Let's all have a magical day! Join the Fuu-chans and have, a magical daaaaay!" They sang.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry but this isn't the movie bloopers, JOE(who I am talking on the phone with now) forgot them all . So here are a few others.**

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**Joe's Theories**

**How Orochimaru met Kabuto**

Orochimaru had just left the Akatsuki because they did not have sufficiant muffins to suit his needs. The song "I wanna take you to a gay bar" starts to play. Orochimaru spots the lonely Kabuto on a bench, Orochimaru sat next to him. And then they start makin' out. Then Orochimaru said "Hey you wanna go rape some little children with me?" And then they prance happily away.

* * *

**And that's Joe's idea on how Orochimaru and Kabuto met. He says "I think it's funny. You all better think it's funny!"**


	12. Short AN Please Read!

**Just a very short A/N to tell you about the going-ons of 'Joe's Theories'.**

**1.) The Short Wait**

**Sorry about the long periods in between chapters, Joe is currently 'revising', if you will, some of the things he's already done and is thinking of new ideas. Also, whenever I call him to ask him about it he either says: "Don't pressure me woman!" or laughs and I'm like: "What? What?" And then he says something funny about Halo 3, like how his friend Kyle keeps trying to get a vehicle, and then dies right after he gets it. So trust me! If you ever feel like the stories have stopped, think again! **

** 2.) Joe's Theories: The Animated Series!**

**I am currently looking for the system, Macromedia Flash Player. You may have seen it used to create fan flashes(i.e., the 'Ultimate Naruto Fan-Flashes') I've tried downloading it from Adobe websites, ect ect. but it doesn't work for my computer. Now! As soon as I buy this, Joe, our friends and I, will use it to create an animated series of 'Joe's Theories'! I am unsure as to when this will happen, but I will keep you all updated. Until then!**

** 3.) Thank You Reviewers!**

**I've never really taken the time to say 'thank you' to all of you who have reviewed! I really thought this would get no reviews, I actually didn't even tell Joe I was doing this until about chapter 7 or 8. But none the less, I'm sure Joe is thankful to his reviewers, and plans to continue this. So on behalf of Joe, myself, the cast of Naruto, and my Kakashi, "Thank you!"**

** And Please Continue to Read, 'Joe's Theories!'  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 13**

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**ZOMG! New chapter! New Chapter! Joe came up with lots tonight people! We're still working on getting the Flash system for the animated series, but we're looking. We have only the interests of the viewers/readers in mind . Now, without further a-do, Joe's Theories Chapter 13!**

**Wasted Neji  
**Neji stood in the forest, a kunai in his back. "Augh! I am sooo wasted!" He slurred. "Aw, I got stabbed in the back, and it made me wasted!" He slurred out more random nonsense.

**Neji, Kidomaru and the Pebble  
**Neji threw his kunai at a pebble on the ground. "I know you're back the Kidomaru! Don't try to hide from me! I hear you mocking me!" He yelled.

**Naruto of the Jungle  
**Naruto, Shikamaru and Kiba hopped through the trees. Naruto turned his head. "I hope Neji and Choji are okay back the-" He was cut off by the tree in front of him, which he hit.

**Wasted Spiders  
**The spiders from the sack dropped from the big spider. "Augh we are sooo wasted!" One said.

"I know! That was one awesome part in mom's sack!!!" Another said.

**Sasuke Escapes**  
As Tayuya hopped through the trees, the long clump of hair from her forehead covered her eyes. She dropped Sasuke and the barrel cracked open. "You guys never told me you were putting me in a barrel! I'm through with this!" Sasuke said, and hopped away.

**Kidomaru Falls from his Perch**  
As Kidomaru tried to unwind the string around his finger, he fell off the tree and cracked his head open. "Well. Time to go back to the others I guess." Neji sighed.

**The Recoiling Arrow**  
Kidomaru pulled the arrow out of his mouth. He held on to it as he was about to shoot it, but it recoiled back, striking him through the skull. "Darn..." He muttered as he fell from the tree. "Why am I getting hurt so much in this chapter?"

**Your Hair is so Messy, its like a Crows Nest**  
Kidomaru readied his arrow for the final strike, when one of the crows from the tree above nested in his hair. "Hey! Get out!" He said. The crow pecked at his head. Neji laughed at him.

**Big Spider**  
The giant spider opened its mouth to eat Neji, but said one thing: "Gimme a hug!!!"

**Neji Hug**  
As the light shined on Neji, something dawned on him. He looked at the bleeding Kidomaru. "Does someone want a hug?" He asked.

"No!" Kidomaru shouted angrily.

"I think you do!" Neji said happily as he walked toward Kidomaru, a huge grin on his face.

"Nooooo!" Kidomaru screamed. He grabbed a kunai and started stabbing himself. "Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!" He yelled.

**Vultures**  
The dying Kidomaru looked up at the crows circling him from above. "H-hey, what are y-you guys doing?" He asked shakily.

"Oh, we're just waiting for you to die so we can eat you." One said casually.

**A Naruto Thanksgiving**  
"What are you thankful for Lord Orochimaru?" Kabuto asked happily.

"Hm, lemme think." Oro said. "Sasuke, you, the boys of Konoha, Sasuke, small children, Sasuke, jutsu, Sasuke, snakes, Sasuke-" He was hit by Sasuke flying though his window and killing him.

"Sorry." Sasuke said. "Force of habit,"

**Tenten's Dumplings**  
As they watched the Chunin exam, Kakashi walked over to Tenten. He pulled off one of her hair buns and began eating it. "What the hell?!" She screamed.

"What?" He asked. "You weren't eating it."

"That was my hair!" She yelled.

"So?! I see a dumpling, I eat it! Kakashi hungry!" He yelled at her.

* * *

**That's all Joe's got for now. Actually, he now has an account here. But we're keeping the Theories as my story . So that's all for now! Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 14**

* * *

Orochimaru stood in his shower, crying out in pain. "I...need...Sasuke..." He said. Kabuto, just so happened to be standing there. 

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! It's _always_ about Sasuke! What about my wants? My _needs_?" He cried. Orochimaru sighed.

"Kabuto, we've talked about this and-"

"No! Don't 'Kabuto, we've talked about this' me! Sasuke doesn't even want to come here! He doesn't want to be your next body! And then there's me, the person _willingly giving you_ his body! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!" Kabuto began to sob. Orochimaru sighed again.

"Kabuto I-"

"Y-y-y-y'know?! J-just forget it okay?! Just forget I said anything!" Kabuto screamed and ran out of the room. Again, Orochimaru sighed. And then said:

"...What a homo."

* * *

**Joe told me about this last night. It was pretty funny when he told me, so I decided to add it :3. Sorry it's so short though.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 15  
**

* * *

**This whole chapter is from Sasuke's Flashback of his life before and when Itachi killed his clan**

* * *

**Sasuke's Surprise Party **

Sasuke ran through the Uchiha palace-thingy. He saw kunai pierced into almost every wall. "_Hm. I wonder what's going on..._" He thought. Itachi perched himself upon a phone pole. "_What's that?_" Sasuke thought, looking up. "Is that a cat?" He finally said.

"Erm- uh- meow!" Itachi said, making a pathetic cat sound.

"_What a messed up cat..._" Sasuke thought. He ran to his house. He took his shoes off(Joe questioned why he bothered to do this). Sasuke finally got to two giant doors. He hesitated at first, then opened them.

"Surprise!" He heard. He saw his whole clan(no clue how they all fit) in the room.

Happy Birthday Sasuke!" His mom said.

"Thanks I- hey wait my birthday is in 3 months!" He said.

"Well," His mom began. "Itachi's going to kill us all in a few seconds so we decided to do this now!"

"Happy birthday Sasuke!" He heard from behind him. He turned to see his aunt and uncle crawling with kunai in their backs. "He already got us!" They said with odd joy. And then Itachi came and killed them all. And Sasuke ran. He ran to the front door and put his shoes on. As he was running, he tripped.

"Agh! Stupid shoes!" He said. He struggled to fix his shoe as Itachi slowly walked up to him. When he finally got behind Sasuke, Sasuke turned and asked him: "Hey, can you help me with this?"

"Sure." Itachi shrugged and helped Sasuke with his shoe.

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That's all I could hear from him. Please review! 


	16. Chapter 16

**Joe's Theories**

**Chapter 16**

* * *

**I forgot to add this to the last chapter XD  
**

* * *

**Sasuke's Song **

"Look, I'm leaving and you can't stop me!" Sasuke said to Naruto. "Do I have to spell it out to you? You know what, I will! In song!" Sasuke said, then began to sing. "I am leeeaaaaving, and never coming baaaaack! I'll never see you agaaaaain!" He punched Naruto into the water. "Now drown! Drown Drown!" He sang.

* * *

**I know, that was rather pointless after I just updated the last one about 10 minutes ago XD. **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Agh! I'm sorry I haven't updated! Blame Joe for not making up anything funny! Then thank him for all he's done tonight! Yay.

* * *

**Joe's Theories**

* * *

**Messin' with Neji**

Tenten's decided to train Neji a new way, so she's enlisted the help of Naruto, Sasuke, Lee, Sakura and Kakashi. Let us watch...

**Part 1:**

Neji calming walked into his room, unaware of the dangers that were so very close. "Today, it is so very hot. I should turn on the ceiling fan." If I were him, I wouldn't have done it, because I would have known that Kakashi and Naruto have placed painting utensils on the fan's...ummm...wings I guess you'd call them. Anyway, he pulls the switch. And then it happens! A paintbrush flies off one wing, hitting him in the face. "Dear Lord! What is tha-" Another. "My God what is-" Another. "Make it stop for the love of-" And again, another. Seemingly, they all have ceased. "Ah, well that's over." And then it hits him! The paint roller. He never saw it coming.

**Part 2:**

Neji looked around the corner. "Ah, good, no ceiling fan in this roo-" Tenten threw a fan at him.

**Part 3:**

"Neji! As part of your new training, I've developed a new skill!" Tenten yelled as she pulled out a scroll. "Go! My common house-hold utensils!"

"Ha! What're you gonna do with- Agh!" Neji was hit by another paintbrush, a rolling pin, and a frying pan.

"And now for the finale! Summoning Jutsu!" She yelled.

"What? You cannot summing anything! What're you going to- Oh my God." Neji couldn't escape the refrigerator flying at him.

"All in a days work." Tenten said. "C'mon guys, I'm hungry." She said, opening the fridge door.

**Part 4:**

"Your final lesson Neji!" Tenten yelled. "Lee!"

"Right!" Lee yelled as he grabbed Neji from behind.

"Naruto!"

"Alright!" Naruto taped Neji's eyes open.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Roger that!" Kakashi yelled. "Summoning jutsu!" He yelled.

"What's he going to do? Have his dogs lick me to death?" Neji asked.

"Educational Television Jutsu!" Kakashi yelled, throwing the TV at Neji.

"Dear God nooooo!"

And so ends Neji's training.

* * *

**He'll Never Catch Me!**

Kakashi franticly ran to escape Iruka, who was chasing him. Because Iruka is a (censored). But Kakashi was unaware of the paintbrush in his hand. "Haha! Let's see'im try to get me!" Of course, when you run like a ninja, with your arms back and with a paintbrush in your hand, you sort of leave a trail.

* * *

**I Think Mines Broken...**

"Hey Guys?" Kakashi asked Naruto and Sasuke. "I think my paintbrush is broken." He moved the paintbrush through the air, creating along trail of black evil-ness. "I didn't plan that." He said. "It wont stop though!"

"That's because it's upside down!" Orochimaru said, coming in uninvited. "Try it like this!" Orochimaru used the paintbrush. But his became a rainbow.

"Never mind, I don't really need it..."

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**A/N**: There is some more stuff, but I'll have to add later. I spent 10 hours at Joe's house, surviving on cans of cherry coke and barbecue potato chips. I hope this satisfies you all for a bit!


	18. Chapter 18

**Joe's Theories**

* * *

**Let's All Get Orochimaru!**

At the meeting of the Joinin council, Kakashi decided to make a statement. "I think, that we should just all ban together and get Orochimaru. Ya know, the leaf, sand and, oh what is it... sound? Whatever. Let's all get together and get him!" He said enthusiastically. "He's like, the cause of every negative thing in this series. He's just, ya know, like, awful. You can't leave like, a pet with him while on vacation, cause you'll come back, it'll be raped, and he'll be gone. That is all." The others shrugged.

"Sure, all right."

"Sound good to me."

"I'll just TiVo '_Desperate Housewives_', I'm in."

"All right! Let's get'im!"

So later that day, Orochimaru decided to go on his daily walk. "Kabuto, wash the dishes, dust the TV, and do the laundry while I'm out. And make me some God damn dinner. I'm in the mood for Tacos."

"Yes m'lord." So Orochimaru walked outside, and didn't even get to shut the door. The entire Naruto cast stood there. Orochimaru said nothing, walked inside, and pushed Kabuto outside. "What do you want me to do?!"

"Just be bait, I dunno."

**Shino's Bug**

Shino sent the beetle in to investigate the cave as he, Ino, Naruto and Anko waited in the bushes. "Well?" Naruto asked.

"The bug tells me it is safe."

"All right, let's go in and-"

"Wait! He also says..."

"What?! What is it?"

"...there's a chocolate chip on the ground... and it's very tasty."

**What does this rope-**

Naruto, Shino, Ino and Anko looked at the people in the tubes. Shino, meanwhile, decided that he should investigate the randomly placed rope next to him. He pulled it, and he, Naruto and Ino fell down a trap door. And we thought he was smarter than that.

**Come'n Get It**

Yoroi stood across from Ino, Shino and Naruto. He spread his arms wide. "Come'n get it you three!" He yelled manically.

"Alright, if that's what you..." Ino began, pulling up her shirt.

"No no!" Shino yelled. "He means fighting!"

**Don't Mock The Scarecrow**

So Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi finally got Sasuke back. But Orochimaru had chased them all around the Naruto land already. Until they came to a dead end. "It would seem that the designer didn't get this far yet.." Kakashi said. "That means I have to..."

"Have to what?" Naruto began.

"I didn't want to have to do this..." Kakashi said. Orochimaru caught up.

"I have you now." He said.

"Not yet you don't." Kakashi said, raising his arms, then waving them around wildly while yelling: "Boogedy boogedy boogedy!" Orochimaru screamed and ran away. "You don't mess with a scarecrow." Kakashi stated. Of course, Kakashi really isn't a scarecrow. Flying monkeys can't rip his arms off and throw them over there, and then rip his legs off and throw them over there. So, he must repeat to himself: "I am not a scarecrow, I am not a scarecrow." Until it sinks in.

**The Last One**

"Why is it that you heal Sasuke's curse mark and not mine?!" Anko yelled at Kakashi.

"Because you eat all the dumplings!" He cried. "May 8th, at approximately nine O'clock, there was one dumpling left. I had already called it, then _YOU_ ate it! I cried myself to sleep. Heal your own damn curse mark!"

* * *

It was fun typing 'Shino and Ino' over and over again XD. Sorry for not updating in so long. Please review.


	19. Chapter 19

**Joe's Theories**

**A/N:** Before I actually type up chapter 19, I wanna thank you all who favorited and reviewed the story. I thought that no one would like it, but boy was I wrong. It's become my most popular story on here! And of course, Joe thanks you too. Now on with the story!

* * *

There aren't many tonight, but I'll upload more soon .

* * *

**O.o**

Naruto walked through the halls of what seemed like a boiler room. He knew that the lats time he was here, he was given the foxes power, so he figured that the same would happen. Then a man wearing a hockey mask, wielding a cleaver, came running at him from the shadows. "Oh my God!" He yelled. The man stopped. He pulled the hockey mask off.

"Kakashi-sensei?!" Naruto exclaimed. "What the heck are you doing here?!"

"I... don't...knooow!" He yelled, running back into the shadows.

**Shino Births A Baby**

"Ah!" Shino yelled. A giant cockroach next to him patted his shoulder kindly.

"Keep pushing honey, you're doing great."

_3 hours of labor later..._

"Ah... it's a beautiful baby girl..." Shino said.

"...how can you tell?" Ino asked.

"I can't. I'm just taking a guess. We'll know when she gets older. If she likes boys, then she's a girl."

"...What if it's gay?"

"...Nooooooo!!"

* * *

Sorry there weren't many... PM Joe and ask if he's thought of any others, if you like. His profile is available through mine. So, I leave you with this theory of his:

**A man pulled up to the McDonald's drive through. "I'd like a large fry and a shake please."**

**"Please pull around to the next window." After being handed his bag, he realized something...**

**"These are... a medium. HULK SMASH!"**

**And then the car exploded.**


End file.
